


I'm Not human, But I'm Alive

by CrystalDragonette



Series: Depression/Anxiety Writings [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Aliens, Angst, Death, Loneliness, Robots, Ruined Earth, dead earth, humanized robots, mental illness mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:02:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23305069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalDragonette/pseuds/CrystalDragonette
Summary: This was based off that one tumblr post that I can't find again.A robot named Xiavon talks to an Alien visitor about a time before Earth's death
Series: Depression/Anxiety Writings [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1675969
Kudos: 1





	I'm Not human, But I'm Alive

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I based Mother off my depression and anxiety.  
> TBH writing this hurt but also made me feel better just a bit so expect more like this, maybe

"I remember when I 'woke up,'" they said, rusted metal hands picking up a few rocks. "I had knowledge that was not my own, feelings I couldn't possibly understand."

The being sitting next to them stayed quiet, watching them.

"They gave me a name, Xiavon. Pretty, isn't it? Mother always loved the name." Xiavon sighed, sighed as they inspected the rocks. "She never wanted to have children, loud noises made her upset. But she made me, and named me, and I was hers."

"Your… mother?" The being hadn't quite grasped the foreign language yet, they spoke slowly, to pronounce the words carefully. "She created you. Did she create the others?"

"No. I was not the first, I was not the last. We were created the same. We are artificial, but they gave us life. They gave us love. To them, we were real. Mother just followed the blueprints." Xiavon set the rocks back down, looking as tired as their metal face would allow. "She allowed me to do as I please, I was meant for companionship, and love. I was meant to help her, to be by her side."

"What happened to her?"

"She grew old, she grew tired, long before the planet died. I have lived many human life times, I have had to repair myself so many times. Humans are not meant to last. But we have kept their memories, their lives. Mother loved me. And I remember. I remember her telling me so over and over. Every day." Xiavon sits down on a large rock, staring at what was once a city but now ruins. "Mother was… broken. She did not love herself, she did not take care of herself. But she took care of me. She loved me. So I loved her, and I took care of her."

The being sits by them, silent still. Learning was always a quiet time for their race.

"She never was fixed. The doctors said that I couldn't fix her. But I helped and I made her smile. She was always fond of space, and she would have loved to meet you." 

"I wish I could have met her as well." The being didn't know why they spoke but the emotions from Xiavon pulled them in.

Xiavon only smiles and looks at them. "They knew the planet would die. And they tried so hard to fix what their ancestors had done, but it was too late. Mother died during a time when things were greener, when they could have stopped it all. But humans are greedy horrible things." 

The being watches, feeling cold and feeling dread. It wouldn't have been the first time a planet had died this way, but barely had there been others still alive to be found.

Yes, Xiavon was alive, they knew that. Xiavon, who mourned and lost and loved. Xiavon who watched their mother, their planet die away. 

Xiavon looks at their lap. "Many of us were created. We explored and learned and lived. We were just like them, except we cannot die the way they do. Mother told me I was as human as she, and I still believe it." Oil slipped from the artificial tear ducts, once there had been a liquid quite different, but now it was gone. "I wish to see my mother again. I do not have a soul, but I believe that when I finally sleep, I will see her."

The being reached over and took Xiavon's hand, the other looking up at them. "Loss.. is hard. At times, there is no greater pain. But I wish to ask you something."

Xiavon nods, not bothering to wipe the oil away. 

"Would you wish to explore again? It will not be the same, but you will have life and companions once again. I will take you everywhere."

Xiavon watches, silent, tired, but turning to look back at the city. "I am very old, and I have seen many humans die. I can not bear to watch as new friends die as well. No, I do not think I will go with you. But I would like visits. If that could be arranged."

Oh, Xiavon…

"I think that could be arranged."

Both sat quietly, watching the city. 

This had not been the future the humans had wanted. No, even if they had died out, the others were still there. 

Most mourning the loss of the people who created them.

Many would leave, many would stay.

And Xiavon would stay as well.

Because there are few things as painful as losing someone.

Xiavon couldn't bear to lose more.


End file.
